It was my anniversary on Monday. I had been planning on a
funny/ironic “marriage by the numbers” post. For example, we’ve only spent
three of our six anniversaries together. Or we’ve actually been a couple for
almost 15 years. But then there was this number: four. As in the four states we
drove across with a three-year-old and a five-month-old on our anniversary.
When you’re an Air Force family, most of your “vacation”
time is spent visiting family. It’s not always strictly vacation. A lot of
times you end up drying dishes, cleaning things, and sometimes helping your
father-in-law reseat wrought iron railings. It’s not terribly glamorous. When
that family is 14 hours away, it’s even less glamorous.
Pretty quickly you’re faced with a choice to overcome the
lack of glamour and the incredibly long car trip and spend time with that
family so your kids know where they came from or stay home. Josh and I both
come from families who felt it was more important to connect with our roots, so
it’s no surprise that we packed the kids into the car and drove a total of 16
hours straight through the long night and the 80 minutes of continuous baby
wailing and the toddler tantrums. And as it turned out, we faced one more
choice of spending an extra day in West Virginia with Josh’s 93-year-old
grandmother and driving home on our anniversary. It might not be the choice
that everyone one would make, especially not when you’ve spent so few of your
previous anniversaries together.
Another thing you learn as an Air Force family is that the
fact of being together is more important than where you are or when you are. When
we found out that Josh would be deployed for our first anniversary, he took me
to a five-star restaurant—one where men have to wear a coat or they won’t seat
you—before he left. On our second anniversary when we were together, I asked
him to take my gigantically pregnant self to Friendly’s for a sundae.
I hate that we’ve had so much time apart over the years of
our relationship—five years of long distance, four deployments, a six month
training, almost countless trips and trainings. But the silver lining to all of
that is that I’ve learned that dates are not sacred. For it to be our
anniversary, we don’t have to be at a five-star restaurant (though it’s nice).
We don’t even have to be together physically (though that’s nice too). We just
have to be together in our hearts. Because of that, it’s almost no big deal if
we “celebrate” or not.
All of that to say that getting all of us home across those
four states after ten days of traveling to visit family felt like an
accomplishment. Not just the accomplishment of a day, but one of six years of
taking it a day at a time, overcoming so many obstacles—some of them heart
rending, laughing when we wanted to cry, laughing so hard we did cry, and
coming out stronger and stronger because of it.
There are lots of nice things that I can say about my
husband. But the compliment I want to pay him right now is that even after all
those miles, I’d get back in the car with him and our children any day—no
matter how many states we have to cross.
Your right about dates losing their significance. After 30 years in the Navy I've missed a few occasions too, we just make up for it in other ways.
ReplyDeleteSweet ending.
ReplyDeleteI barely made it past the photo...so adorable.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary! Time together is the most precious thing of all. A thing to cherish.
ReplyDeleteSo sweet. And that picture! Oh my goodness.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary!
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary! I love the warmth and optimism in this post.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary! The older I get, the more I too realize the importance of family.
ReplyDeleteDates are not sacred -- I love this! Happy anniversary!
ReplyDelete